A Note From Our Author

Play Dates All Year Round!
Now that school has been in session for a few months my children have met new friends and play dates are in full swing. My daughter Kelsey has been watching Spencer’s play dates for a few years and now that she’s 4 years old, she has become immersed in her own social circle. My father can’t understand the concept of play dates and neither did my husband until we had children of our own. My dad believes that children should be able to just go outside and play with their friends without organizing a specific date and time. He’s of a different era; when children ran freely outside playing with their neighbors from the second they got off the bus till the street lamps went dark and moms called everyone inside for dinner. While this can still work in some neighborhoods, it just doesn’t work in ours. Between after school activities, doctor’s appointments, and homework, we’ve found that scheduling play time is the most effective way of making it happen.

And so, a master of coordinating play dates for my son, I agreed to test the waters with two play dates as I agreed to let Spencer and Kelsey each invite over one friend. The first thing I noticed is that boy and girl play dates are very different. My daughter is the little hostess, showing her friends around the house, arranging the activities, and deciding when it’s snack time and what they’ll munch on. My son, on the other hand, is much more “unstructured.” He might be playing in one room while his guest is somewhere else in the house entirely. Each boy goes their separate way as they become engrossed with each other’s toys. I’ve also come to realize that when one child has a play date it’s best to set up a play date for the other child as well. At first this seemed like even more work but I quickly realized that having a sibling intrude on a play date (“Mommy, he’s my friend, not hers!) ensured that there would be no peace at all.

I must admit, play dates stress me out. I worry that the kids won’t find enough to entertain themselves or will think our family is boring. I try to be the perpetually happy and perky mom when their friends come over. If ever I have a June Cleaver moment this is it! On this first joint play date, I went overboard – baking fresh cookies, making sure all their toys were nicely displayed and available – until I realized that none of this matters to the kids. They’re just thrilled and excited to spice up their everyday routines and explore playtime with a new friend.

I agree with my dad. Life was much easier when we could just run outside, see who was playing and stay there for hours without any coordination by our parents. But things are always changing and we update our social calendars – already filled with school dates, after-school practices, and doctor’s appointments –  to accommodate play dates. Whether you’re a veteran “play date mom” or will be in the future, check out this month’s tips on setting up a play date without worry. Then, sit back and anxiously await the reciprocal invite.